The Spice Girls

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The Spice Girls
Guild Summary
Established2025-06-04
Members7
FocusUK Based Shenanigans
Membership
RecruitmentInvite Only
PlatformPC
LanguageEnglish
Play Style
PVEYes
PVPYes
RPYes
Links
Discordhttps://discord.gg/R5PX3ERh

Purpose / Ethos

  • Mischief Over Min-Maxing – We’re not here to top the leaderboards (unless we can do it by accident or irony). We’re here to make memories.
  • Friendship Through Foolishness – You’ll never face the desert alone. Unless we left you behind as a prank. (We’ll come back... probably.)
  • Spice Is Life, Laughter Is Mandatory – Dune may be harsh, but our banter is relentless. Voice chat is where the real spice flows.
  • Style Over Sanity – Whether you’re in a house frock or full battle gear, if you’re not fighting with flair, you’re not doing it right.

So if you’ve ever looked at a sandstorm and thought, “Let’s charge it and see what happens,” then you’re our kind of Spice Girl.

Join us. Be legendary. Cause mayhem. Bring spice.

And remember: Tell me what you want, what you really, really want... and then let’s steal it.

Recruitment Process

🧂 The Spice Girls – Official Recruitment Processℱ

(Terms and conditions may not apply)

So, you want to join The Spice Girls? Of course you do. Who wouldn’t want to run through spice fields in stilettos while cackling maniacally over comms?

Here’s how our highly rigorous and totally real recruitment process works:

Step 1: The Application (aka, "Slide into our DMs")

You must answer the following, very serious questions via Discord or carrier pigeon:

  • What’s your name (real or spice-fuelled alias)?
  • What’s your favourite flavour of chaos?
  • Have you ever accidentally started a war for a laugh?
  • Can you quote Spice World unprompted?
  • Preferred role: Combat Diva, Sneaky Spice, Logistics Legend, or Sandworm Whisperer?

Bonus points for:

  • Ridiculous accents
  • Strong opinions on which Spice Girl would survive on Arrakis (spoiler: it's Geri)

Step 2: The Interview (aka, "Five Minutes in a Voice Chat")

A member of the guild council (probably drunk, definitely sarcastic) will pull you into a voice channel and grill you with nonsense questions like:

  • "Would you betray us for a fancy hat?"
  • "How many ornithopters is too many?"

Failure to laugh is an automatic disqualification. We don’t trust serious people.

Step 3: The Trial of Shenanigans

You will be invited on your Guild Initiation Mission. These may include:

  • Attempting to convince a rival faction’s officer that you are their long-lost cousin
  • Building a spice operation in the most cursed location imaginable (bonus if it’s haunted)
  • Hosting an impromptu interpretive dance party in the desert

Survive, and you're in. Fail hilariously, and you’re also in. Succeed without humour? That's suspicious...

Step 4: The Naming Ceremony

Upon acceptance, you’ll be bestowed a Spice Name, such as:

  • Mild Paprika
  • Curry Fumes
  • Cardamom Warlord
  • Chili Con Carnage

You will also be given access to the Spice Girls Guild Vault of Questionable Loot and Even Worse Ideasℱ.

Step 5: Eternal Membership and Occasional Regret

You’re now one of us. You’ll get:

  • Access to raids, trade routes, and sandworm rodeos
  • Participation in Guild Shenanigan Saturdaysℱ
  • A forever home full of bants, booze, and bad decisions
  • Zero pressure to be sweaty. Just spicy.

Ranks/Hierarchy

đŸ”± 👑 Posh Spice – Supreme High Commander of Sass

  • Guild Leader
  • Wears black even in the desert
  • Final word on all raids, fashion, and drama
  • Can execute orders with a raised eyebrow alone

đŸ„‚ 💋 Scary Spice – Warlord of Mayhem & Morale

  • Deputy Leader
  • In charge of chaos deployment and battle cries
  • Manages guild events, worm wrangling, and morale-boosting shouting
  • Scares enemies and sometimes allies

📩 🧃 Baby Spice – Quartermaster of Questionable Supplies

  • Logistics & Resource Lead
  • Handles crafting, spice trade routes, and emergency tea rations
  • Known to store illegal snacks in the spice vault
  • Looks harmless. Isn’t.

đŸŽ€ 🎹 Ginger Spice – Propaganda Officer / Lore Bard

  • Communications, recruitment, and storytelling
  • Spreads guild memes, manages Discord mayhem, and writes spicy lore
  • Handles diplomacy with a wink and some glitter
  • May start wars accidentally with satire

đŸ’Ș đŸ„Ÿ Sporty Spice – Initiate / Cannon Fodder (Affectionate)

  • New recruits and fresh meat
  • Responsible for base sweeping, decoy duties, and experimental sandworm baiting
  • Must survive The Trial of Shenanigansℱ
  • Probationary status until they cause a guild-wide scandal (then promoted)

Leadership

🧂 The Spice Girls – A Glorious Absence of Leadership

At The Spice Girls, we believe true power lies not in hierarchy, but in chaotic consensus, passive-aggressive polls, and whoever shouts loudest in voice chat. While we pretend Posh Spice is in charge (mainly because i have the best taste in boots), the reality is simple:

We have no real leadership, and we plan to keep it that way.

No chain of command. No bureaucracy. Just vibes, mutual disrespect for authority, and the occasional impromptu coup that ends in a group hug or fire.

Here, every member is equally unqualified to be in charge — and that’s exactly how we like it.

Guild Lore

📜 The Legendary (and Occasionally Accurate) History of The Spice Girls

A Tale of Chaos, Spice, and Fabulous Footwear on Arrakis

Long before the Great Houses squabbled over dunes and before the first ornithopter graced the skies, a shadowy group of rogue spice smugglers emerged from the desert wastes. They were loud. They were uncoordinated. They were inexplicably glittery.

They were known only as
 The Spice Girls.

Origins in the Dust (Year Unknown, Probably a Tuesday)

The guild’s founders were five exiled nobles turned spice dancers who believed war should be waged with style and sarcasm. Armed with bootleg stillsuits and far too much eyeliner, they wandered the dunes performing interpretive sabotage on spice operations, hosting underground dance-offs, and once famously disguised themselves as a migrating sandworm just to sneak into a Sardaukar encampment.

No one has ever recovered from that.

The Great Spice Mix-Up

During the Third Lunar Festival of Very Bad Ideas, the guild accidentally swapped all the spice in a major CHOAM shipment with cinnamon. Entire planets reported elevated blood sugar. As a result, CHOAM branded them "Enemies of Economic Stability." The guild responded with a new slogan:

"Cinnamon is the real spice. Fight us."

This phrase was etched onto the side of a stolen Harkonnen carryall. In glitter paint.

The Worm Whispering Incident

Legend tells of the time Mild Paprika, one of the guild’s most chaotic members, tamed a rogue sandworm by singing the entirety of Spice Up Your Life through a makeshift thumper-speaker system. The worm, clearly impressed or confused, allowed the guild to ride it straight into a rival base — which was promptly trampled during a surprise conga line ambush.

The event is still celebrated annually with the Worm Rodeo & Shout-Off.

Rise and Return

Though the guild has disbanded, reformed, been exiled, and forgotten multiple times (often within a single week), it always comes back stronger — and louder. Their unofficial motto:

“We don’t die. We respawn, rebrand, and revenge.”

In recent years, The Spice Girls have returned to prominence with a mix of strategic absurdity, low-stakes politics, and very high-stakes dance parties. They are known across Arrakis not for their military might, but for their ability to sow chaos wherever they go, all while looking absolutely fabulous in the face of certain doom.

Today...

They remain an enigma — part guild, part theatre troupe, part threat to local spice economies. Operating from a hidden sietch known only as The Spiciary, they host illicit parties, heist supply drops, and offer questionable training programs like:

  • “Sandworm Diplomacy 101”
  • “Combat with Panache”
  • “Tactical Sarcasm for Beginners”

To many, they are a joke.

To others, a legend.

To those who know them best
 they’re just a bloody handful.

Known Allegiances or Rivalries

đŸ’« S Club 7 – "The Cult of Eternal Positivity"

  • Tagline: “Ain’t no party like an S Club party.”
  • Reality: Constant dance parties. Constant judgment.
  • Why We Hate Them:
    • They once built a spice refinery shaped like a disco ball and it actually worked.
    • Their raids are synchronized like a pop concert. It’s unnerving.
    • They tried to "bring it all back" after we definitely didn't steal their worm eggs.

"They smile too much. It’s suspicious." – Scary Spice, moments before setting their banners on fire

đŸŸ Atomic Kitten – "The Passive-Aggressive Traders’ Union"

  • Tagline: “Whole again? Not after we’re through with them.”
  • Reality: Weaponised diplomacy and aggressively flirty trade deals.
  • Why We Hate Them:
    • They undercut our spice prices by 0.01 solari just to be petty.
    • They left glitter bombs in our sietch – twice.
    • They send love letters to our members with better lyrics than ours.

"If I hear ‘right now, baby’ one more time, I’m deploying the worm." – Baby Spice, probably

đŸŒȘ The Sugababes – "The Shadow Network"

  • Tagline: “We’ve had more members than you’ve had meals.”
  • Reality: Mysterious, stylish, and constantly reinventing themselves.
  • Why We Hate Them:
    • No one knows who’s actually in charge. Or if they even exist anymore.
    • They somehow hack our comms and replace them with melancholic bangers.
    • Once beat us in a sabotage op, then dropped a remix about it. Rude.

"They’re like a mirage made of eyeliner and betrayal." – Ginger Spice

Other Activities

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